Top 10 Reasons to love Global Warming

From the home office in Death Valley, California, here’s tonight’s top ten list. The category tonight: top 10 reasons to love global warming. Here we go …

Number 10: Bikini season is year-round.

Number 9: No more dangerous polar bears. Or bees.

Number 8: “Casual Friday” at work is now “sweaty Friday”.

Number 7: Food shortages help solve America’s pesky obesity problem.

Number 6: No more boring winter olympics.

Number 5: Baked Alaska!

Number 4: Learn to swim without leaving the house.

Number 3: Soylent green is people gluten-free.

Number 2: Netflix special: real-life hunger games.

And the number 1 reason to love global warming: Mar-a-Lago will be underwater.

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6 responses to “Top 10 Reasons to love Global Warming

  1. Nah, Mar-a-Lago will be designated a National Historic Landmark and the National Park Service will spend its entire budget each year building an ever higher sea wall.

  2. still not loving it. Nice try though

  3. Methane madness

    — Cheap beachfront properties.
    — No more avalanches
    — No more icebergs in sea lanes
    — No more London, New York, San Fransisco, Hong Kong etc. The rat race becomes a actual rat race.
    — The mega volcano that erupts due to the collapse of the Ross ice shelf enacts population control

  4. Please change bikini to speedo. Plenty of people like looking at men’s bodies too. (And Sarah Myre’s twitter feed is making me sensitive to sex-specific commentary)