Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) and Congressman Lamar Smith (R-TX) have issued separate subpoenas for those they believe are withholding crucial information in order to advance President Obama’s global warming agenda. They have threatened criminal prosecution if the targets of their subpoenas fail to appear, or refuse to surrender their private e-mails.
They target of their separate subpoenas: ice.
Senator Cruz has requested the FBI to determine the whereabouts of Arctic sea ice. He claims the sea ice has illegally gone into hiding, in order to obstruct his repeated assertions that there has been no global warming for the past 18 years. During that time, Arctic sea ice has disappeared dramatically, a move which senator Cruz believes is designed to undermine our freedom and destroy the economy.
Cruz also praised Antarctic sea ice for its recent surge, but cautioned that its more recent decline may be due to terrorist attacks by Arctic sea ice. “Obviously the ice is in league with ISIS,” said senator Cruz, “who may be helping them avoid capture.”
Meanwhile, congressman Smith issued a subpoena for the missing lake ice in Wisconsin and other areas of the U.S. He was joined by Wisconsin governor Scott Walker in denouncing Wisconsin’s lakes as cowards, unable to force the ice to appear in time for Wisconsin’s usually lucrative ice-fishing industry. “It’s an obvious attempt to destroy our economy,” said governor Walker, “First the glaciers, then the sea ice, now the lakes and rivers. It’s a world-wide conspiracy.” Meanwhile, Smith emphasized that the missing ice may be due to fraud by scientists at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA).
The ice could not be reached for comment.