Mainers are so lucky to live in a place free from the trials and tribulations of global warming.
Thank God we’re not in California. Did you see the wildfires there this summer? One of them burned an entire city to the ground! Well, we wouldn’t have been safe from wildfires in Oregon or Washington or Greece or Sweden either.
How about the heat? California got it bad, real bad … although, they got it just as bad in Japan (20,000 people sent to the hospital) and Britain and Sweden and Oman (that night in Quriyat the LOW temperature was 109°F) and Canada (in Montreal they ran out of space in the morgue), even places in the Arctic circle.
And the floods? The Japanese got hit hard with that one, real hard. But hey, so did the Carolinas. Speaking of hurricanes, was Michael just copying the western wildfires when he too wiped an entire American town off the map? That storm surge was amazing! It’s almost like the sea itself is rising.
But we Mainers got off scot-free. OK, the tick population has exploded, and since 2001 the rate of Lyme disease is up 1500%. Yes the seafood industry is worried, especially with the Gulf of Maine one of the fastest-warming ocean regions in the world, cod populations unable to recover, even the lobster, though plentiful now, threatening to desert Maine waters for colder ocean farther north. After all, that’s how New York State and Connecticut lost 95% of their lobster harvest.
And no we haven’t escaped that sea level rise thing; I remember that “supermoon” high tide a few years ago when the streets were flooded in Portland, Maine, on a sunny day with no wind or rain or storm. The “scientists” tell me more like that is coming and it’s going to get worse, and we have a lot of coastline. Oh well, at least we’re nowhere near as vulnerable to it as, say, Norfolk, Virginia and our nation’s largest naval base, or Miami (suckers!) where seawalls don’t work (leaky bedrock) and there’s no such thing as high ground.
So yes, we in Maine are the lucky ones. We can even turn global warming to our advantage. A golden opportunity has fallen in our lap: let’s market Maine as America’s tourist destination to escape from global warming. Tired of the heat? Come to Maine! Leave your wildfires behind, put the air conditioner on “low,” and don’t forget that if you want swimming lessons, you have to leave your room! Just don’t mention those nasty bloodsucking ticks.
As for global warming, bring it on! First “drill, baby, drill!” then “burn, baby, burn!” Profits will explode with every killer heat wave, and when disaster strikes, the more others suffer, the more we profit.
Maybe it’s time to append a question mark to the Maine state motto. “The way life should be?”
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